The wildly popular Netflix series Ozark recently finished its five-year run as one of the most-watched, binged and acclaimed streaming series in history. With veteran actors Jason Bateman (Marty Byrd) and Laura Linney (Wendy Byrd) anchoring the cast, and the meteoric rise of Julie Garner (Ruth Langmore), talent was certainly one foundation to the show’s success.

However, like nearly every endeavor with exceptional success whether in entertainment, business, sports, music, medicine, education or any discipline, talent is just table-stakes. In fact, many teams and organizations are loaded with talent but still fail because they don’t take the time to nurture the other fundamental aspects of exceptionalism. Some pay lip-service to words like “culture,” “family,” “collaboration” or “trust,” but don’t do the hard work every day beyond using those words as rallying cries to substantively bring those concepts to life.

In Ozark’s half-hour series recap, “A Farewell to Ozark,” the cast and crew revealed the show’s fabric and culture to reinforce the important ingredients for any team with lofty goals to achieve enduring success:
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Leadership committed to a clear vision, but also open to listen to the talented people they hired to bring the vision to life together to build an authentic culture of collaboration and trust.
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• “This has stayed true to what I hoped and dreamed it would be. Everybody has hit close to the target. It’s a team sport.” - Jason Bateman, who also directed the first season of the show.
  
  
• “Chris Mundy (lead writer) is an actor’s dream writer. Someone who is open to responses. Open to suggestions.” – Felix Solis (Omar Navarro, cartel boss)
  
  
• “He (Mundy) really is the architect of this sense of community that we’ve had here on Ozark.” – Sophia Hublitz (Charlotte Byrd, the family’s young daughter).
  
  

A simultaneous willingness to teach and learn by everyone, including taking the time to provide context so each team member is put in a position to be successful.

• “I feel like I’ve grown up on this show in so many ways. I’ve learned so much from these people.” Hublitz, who was 16 when Ozark premiered in 2017.
  
  
• “You don’t want to shove it down a young person’s throat, but you hope you can share some of the tools that they can take on to the next job.” Laura Linney, who played Charlotte’s mother.
  
  

Believing every person on the team – no matter their role or their experience – brings their own unique value and set of experiences and perspective to the team to help achieve the overall vision.
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• “Another testament to this crew and the people who were able to put together these sets. I’ve never not felt I was in a hacienda in Mexico.” – Solis, the cartel boss who clearly was most comfortable in his south-of-the-border based hacienda.
  
  
• “My job is to create a space for the actors, a space for the script. I’m given so much information from the story and script.” – David Biomba, production designer in charge of location and sets.
  
  
• “I can’t reiterate how close we all are from the showrunners, producers, van drivers, the cast, all the way to the grip and the electricians, the art directors.” – Hublitz.
  
  

Exceptionalism take exceptional attention and effort. Cultures of success aren’t achieved just with rousing speeches, team happy hours and off-site retreats, although each of those certainly can be part of the process. But the most important part of exceptional work happens in the trenches, every day, when a group of committed people are valued by leadership and those same people value their leaders. That collaboration is what leads to authentic trust and the will to help everyone succeed individually. And that will lead to collective, exceptional team success.

In our personal lives, especially those of us who communicate using technology or social media regularly, we are accustomed to nomenclature such as “followers,” “viewers,” or those who “liked” or “shared” something we thought was valuable.

In business, two broad categories represent the people who could buy a product or service: B-to-C or B-to-B. Business-to-consumer. Business-to-business.

In either a personal or business context, those who transcend the mindset that the people we are connecting with are “followers” or “consumers” or “businesses” create deeper bonds and more meaningful relationships. They don’t see B-to-B or B-to-C or followers. They see each individual as a real person.

More like H-to-H: Human to human.

Viewing each other as a human being is a dynamic that has deteriorated, if not selectively disappeared in some instances, in both our personal and professional/business lives.

The continued proliferation of technology – for all its wonderous benefits and functionality to connect people more efficiently and immediately – has also led to communication, while voluminous, that is less meaningful and personal. And that can’t be blamed on technology.

People use the technology. How people have sometimes decided to use it in part has led to the de-personalization of how people communicate with each other and ultimately de-humanizes…well, human beings.

One of many reasons business have increasingly deployed technology is to save labor costs and to avoid training people to provide functions like customer service. We’ve all been there. We have a problem with a product or service and call the customer-service number. We get the privilege of navigating a voice prompt that presents about 10 useless options for the problem we are having, which are really intended to get you to go online to do something that is not remotely relevant to your problem like “check your balance…get our hours...see if there’s an Internet outage in your area.”

Two minutes later when you finally get to the option that says “if none of these are the reason you are calling, please tell us your reason,” and in three words you concisely tell the robot an easily discernable problem. The reply is “I’m sorry, I don’t understand that.” The robot finally gives you “permission” to talk to a real human being, and if you’re lucky, you get someone who solves your problem.

An enigma in business that has nothing to do with technology is that more job applicants have complained about being ghosted by potential employers even after actually interviewing with not only HR, but with the actual hiring manager. It would seem that someone who works at a company would want to let a candidate know that they are not moving forward, if not because of common courtesy to thank the candidate for taking the time to apply and interview, then to leave the candidate with a good impression of the company and protect its brand and reputation. Sending a two-sentence e-mail seems to be too much to ask in too many cases.

In our personal lives, technology can enable richer, more frequent connections between family, friends and groups of people with common interests that could forge new friendships. And it does in so many ways from sharing photos of grandchildren, to sending birthday greetings to friends or “just thinking about you” texts and so much more. Many people rue social media, but when used with positive intent and when only engaging others with similar intent, it enables meaningful, personal connections with people we care about.

But technology can also be used, unintentionally or not, to de-humanize another person. The worst of which is “ghosting,” which started in the early 2000s in the dating world to avoid having a difficult conversation with someone in-person or on the phone to let them know that one is no longer interested, without any acknowledgement of how it would make the person who is ghosted feel.
 
It seems there are more frequent instances of selective lack of responsiveness far beyond the dating context in recent years. More people seem to feel comfortable hiding behind technology to do something they would never do if they were asked for a response in-person – just turning their back and walking away.

“Not calling someone back ever” is probably an unseemly human habit that dates back to the invention of the telephone. But because there are so many more opportunities to communicate these days, and so many channels to communicate in, there are exponentially more opportunities to not respond or ignore someone. Soon, being rude and not treating someone as a human being may become the norm. And that would be sad.

Most people who do don’t respond or ghost are likely just trying to avoid a difficult conversation or conflict. They likely don’t intend anything malicious. But people can build strength through transparency and forthrightness. Not only within themselves, but strength in the person they are trying to avoid. They can leave them with dignity and help them feel they are valued as a human being. And whether they stay connected, they can help the other person move forward whole.
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The people who understand that – whether they are nurturing a personal relationship/friendship or they are part of a business trying to gain the loyalty of thousands or even millions of customers or prospects -are the ones who build bonds that have potential to grow to lasting mutual benefits. And if the intent is still to dissolve a bond, they can do it feeling better about themselves and allow the other person to feel better as well.

​We all learn mostly from those who are in our lives such as our parents and family, close friends, religious leaders, teachers, mentors and coaches. Once in a while, we are blessed with the luxury of watching, listening and observing someone from afar that exponentially adds to the collective perspective and wisdom absorbed from those that have been part of our lives.
 
For me, that person has been Duke Head Coach Mike Krzyzewski, who is retiring after 42 years and winning five national championships – two of which I was fortunate to attend in person – and 16 Final Fours. He is the all-time wins leader in college basketball history.
 
I only had the chance to meet him twice. Once he spoke to our class at Duke in 1994. The second in 1997 at the Maui Classic in Hawaii. However as fans of a program that has been highly successful nearly every season, we are inspired to follow Coach K in so many ways – the books he has written, social media, his pre-game and post-game news conferences, his speeches to classes and corporations, and his family’s effort in charitable endeavors.
 
The collection of lessons I’ve learned from Coach K have made deep and broad impact in my personal and professional life:

• The power of teamwork - Collaboration means the ability to respect all opinions and the will to disagree – as well as the will to welcome disagreement. Coach K recites a lesson his mother taught him “To get on the right bus,” meaning to surround yourself with the right people who focus on the team’s goals and not just their individual aspirations. They are not “yes” people just agreeing with you because it’s easy. They also don't cower when you disagree with them. They know healthy discussion and debate is the best way to help make the team better and achieve the collective goal.

• The power of relationships - The team doesn’t mean just the team you work with or your family or the one you have an acute purpose with at the moment. The team is everyone you value and who values you in your life, no matter their age, when your lives intersected, or how long they’ve been on the journey with you. You build your team as life moves one. A few may get off the bus, but for those who stay on, you have a responsibility to give everything of yourself to help them and they will do the same for you.
  
  
• Fighting complacency after achieving a goal – The natural human reaction after working hard toward a lofty goal is to relax and take a breath. That breath can turn into a siesta and then a long sabbatical, and one ends up with an outcome of regression. It would easy to be complacent after each of the five national championships and 16 Final Fours. Coach K’s mantra was that “We are NOT defending last year’s championship. We are pursuing a national championship this year.”
  
  
• Leadership. Leadership. Leadership. – In uncountable ways, I have learned about the critical ingredients of leadership. To value all opinions. To make the tough decisions. To not shy away from conflict. To value failures even more than successes. To be objective. To be honest even when it’s painful to tell someone they must work harder, think more, find more from within themselves. To grind through adversity. To accept imperfection from others and yourself. And on and on and on.

 
The best part of Coach K is he is human. He has flaws. He can be egotistical at times. He feels deeply and touches deeply. He cries. He is demanding. He is compassionate. He is every human being. He is also unique.
 
I’m so grateful to have “known” him for more than three decades – even from afar.

When two people with familiarity and professional chemistry build unbreakable trust, they form a bond that benefits their team, company or organization, especially at the most critical moment.

That was the case in last night’s stirring AFC Divisional Round playoff game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Buffalo Bills. The entire sporting world and beyond is describing the electrifying 42-26 Chiefs OT victory as one of the best football games ever. There was one spectacular play after another under pressure by both teams, no turnovers and just four penalties.

One play stood out among all the back-and-forth impossibilities that were turned into possibilities, and then realities. With just eight seconds left in regulation and Chiefs facing a long-shot imperative  to get at least 20 yards for the tying field goal to avoid a heart-breaking loss, Chiefs all-world TE Travis Kelce told all-universe QB Patrick Mahomes: “I am probably NOT going to run the route that is called.”

Mind you, the route was called by future Hall of Fame Head Coach Andy Reid and revered offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy. The QB and the TE got to the line of scrimmage for what was essentially a do-or-die play. They took a second to study the defense. Then, they improvised as if they were kids playing football in the backyard after school.
At the line of scrimmage just before taking the snap, Mahomes yelled so everyone could hear - including the Buffalo Bills and a national TV audience: “Do it Kels! Do it! Do it!”

Kelce indeed didn’t run the play that was called. And Mahomes didn’t do a formal audible with hand signals and code words like “Omaha” or “Lasagna” or “Martini.” He boldly and openly yelled to Kelce to do what they had briefly “discussed” just before the play. Kelce found an open spot, caught Mahomes’s pass to gain 25 years to get into position for the tying field goal with three seconds left.

Sure, that kind of bond is built through practice and familiarity from working together for some time. But lots of people work together for much longer periods of time. That special bond is rare and exists with just a few people – if not just one - in a career.

I’ve enjoyed working with some incredibly talented professionals in my career – ethical, intelligent, driven, competitive, compassionate and more. But I only enjoyed the rare professional bond like Mahomes and Kelce have with one person. Here is what made our professional relationship transcendent:

• A relentless drive to exceed expectations and goals – We both were in sync about not just meeting goals, but plowing through them on every single project, every annual program and every metric. Being on the same page was foundational to a work ethic and mindset to do whatever we needed to help achieve a higher-level success.
  
  
• We trusted each other but weren’t afraid to disagree – Even though I had more experience than she, I encouraged her to challenge me. She willingly obliged by drawing from her own unique experiences and intellectual capital to make suggestions I hadn’t considered. That resulted in greater combined intellectual capital – strategy, creativity, unconventional thinking –than had we just agreed with each other or had she deferred to my experience.
  
  
• We didn’t play by conventional rules – Much like how Mahomes and Kelce improvised in the most high-leverage, high-risk moment, we developed a collective mindset between us that we would first consider the unconventional rather than the default or safe option. Then we would assess the risk/benefit and determine the best course. We weren’t unconventional just for the sake of it. But when a big moment presented itself, our goal was to meet the moment.
  
  
• Our trust led to a sixth-sense and no-look passes – Because we had similar high aspirations we could take the baton from each other knowing the other would run just as hard and just as smart. No need for detailed instruction or to be in the same room at the same time. We could hand off tasks mid-project, piggy-back on each other’s thoughts in meetings to build momentum for a point-of-view and make easy, seamless no-look passes of strategies and ideas to inspire confidence and peace of mind from our clients.
  
  
• We always wanted to keep learning – We both understood we didn’t have all the answers and had a curiosity to keep learning, not only from each other, but from anyone or anything that would help us become better as individuals and as a company. When she had a job offer from a client, one of the bargaining chips she requested was that she received personally tailored leadership training from me to help her to learn.
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For all of these reasons, we have grown in our professional life, but also as close friends and human beings. She has led the marketing communications function for a Fortune 500 company for some time. Even though we haven’t worked together for more than a decade, we still ask for each other’s input on a range of professional and personal issues. And we trust that we will be honest even if it means disagreeing, because we know one always wants what’s best for the other.

Any loss is difficult for the ultra-competitive Nick Saban, head coach of Alabama football, who many consider the best college football coach of all-time. But a loss in the national championship game is most painful for someone whose singular goal is winning the national championship.

For 15 years at Alabama, and at LSU and Michigan State before, he has led programs to sustained success including a remarkable seven national championships. Despite unparalleled success, he is never complacent, turning the page on the last championship to focus on the season ahead. That competitiveness is embedded in the culture of his program.

After last night’s loss to Georgia in the national championship game, he showed another important side of what makes him one of the best leaders of his profession and why businesses and other organizations use him as a model for leadership.

His Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Bryce Young and all-America defensive lineman Will Anderson, Jr. just finished their part of the post-game news conference and were clearly despondent. Saban reached his hands out to both players as they rose to leave and asked the media if he can say something about them. He emphasized that game alone doesn’t define the identity of the two stars and talked about how hard they had worked along with the rest of the team. He made sure the two players understood what their hard work and effort meant to him, despite the loss.

That type of compassion, blended with competitiveness, is what makes the ultimate leader. Such leaders want success for more than just themselves. They want it for the team or organization, and for others beyond the team, company or organization. Saban’s success deeply touches not only his team, but the University of Alabama, many in the state of Alabama, and others globally who find happiness in the success of the University of Alabama brand.

The same can be said for other individuals, businesses or organizations that have a highly competitive mindset and culture to achieve high-level success. When that competitiveness and resulting success is coupled with compassion, the result is not only a better business or organization, but better communities and a better world.

Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates is equally as competitive as Saban and that drive has fueled decades of profitability for the company and enriched Gates. Yet, Gates and his ex-wife Melinda have used billions of those dollars to help impoverished people globally with healthcare, hunger and opportunities to lift themselves up.
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Competitiveness blended with compassion is the best way to change the world. Success that is selfless begets more success. 

Once in a generation, maybe once in a lifetime, our lives intersect with that one-of-a-kind person. The one who inspires and challenges us, makes us look deep inside ourselves to find untapped potential we never knew existed and helps us go to places we never knew we could. If we’re lucky, it’s more than an intersection, but a journey that allows us to seek that person’s steady heart, mind and hand in good times and times of adversity throughout life.

That one-of-a-kind person could be a parent(s) or spouse. Sometimes, it’s someone outside of conventional circles that one meets by happenstance. It’s usually unexpected as are the outcomes fueled by the person’s influence. That person could become a mentor or a friend, or both.

Or that person may not be in your inner circle at all but still exert deep and broad influence from afar. Those types of one-of-a-kinds usually impact more than just you. They inspire many.

Buck O’Neil was one-of-a-kind. Fifteen years after he passed, Buck was inducted into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame yesterday. Buck was a pretty good baseball player. He was the first African-American coach in the major leagues. He was a baseball scout. But none of those were the reasons he was inducted into the Hall of Fame.

​Buck was inducted because of his humanity. His leadership. His influence.

He nearly single-handedly started a movement to get America and the world to recognize the thousands of African-American baseball players from the Negro Leagues that were not allowed to play Major League Baseball until Jackie Robinson broke the barrier in 1947. Some of them were as talented and produced prolific results as household names in those times like Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, or in later times like Hank Aaron, Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle. But they toiled in relative obscurity. And now, because of Buck, they are hailed in the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in Kansas City. Some of whom were already in only because of Buck, welcomed him to the Hall of Fame in heaven last night.

The world became acquainted with Buck from early 90s as he campaigned to first build the museum and then promote it. We got to know him while he raised the profile of the Negro Leagues. He had incredible zeal to help others. He revealed his humility and selflessness by always seeking to lift others up even while national media asked him to tell his own story. He was charismatic, a gifted story-teller and someone who made you smile just by his presence.
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I’m glad the Baseball Hall of Fame decided to formally recognize that Buck was one-of-a-kind. May we all be blessed with a one-of-a-kind in our lives.

The world has always had – and will always have - problems and challenges. Fortunately, the world has also always had optimistic, industrious, curious and relentless people who choose to focus on solutions instead of those problems and challenges.

Solutions for every walk of life. For example, our health (life expectancy has increased from about 50 to about 80 the past 150 years); our ability to connect physically (planes, trains and automobiles, etc.) or virtually (Facetime, Teams, Zoom, Duo, smartphones, etc.); or moral evolution (more opportunities for all people no matter their ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, etc.).

Life is fluid and new challenges emerge so nothing has been completely solved and may never be, but we continue to make progress, and it’s been exponential the past 150 years.

My first boss after college was one of those industrious, curious, relentless optimists. Howard Boasberg passed away peacefully last month at 87 years old after living a full life that included starting The Boasberg Company to compete from little ol’ Kansas City with PR and communications agencies 100 times our size from New York or Chicago. We worked on prestigious national and global brands in consumer products, pharmaceuticals, financial services, telecommunications, sports, healthcare and more. In all three phases, “Boasberg” was in the company name long after he retired because “Howie,” as he was affectionately called by colleagues, clients and the community, provided dozens of professionals the opportunity to be challenged, learn and grow. Many of us still stay connected and call it “the best place I’ve ever worked.”

Howie taught me a foundational lesson that I’ve applied throughout my professional and personal life. I was three months out of school and facing a significant problem with an unhappy client who demanded an answer in the next hour. The person I reported to was traveling and unavailable so with some trepidation, I reluctantly knocked on the president’s office door. Howie welcomed me with a big smile and wanted to know how I was doing? He knew I wouldn’t have been there if I didn’t have a huge business problem, but he put me at ease quickly by asking about me.
I described the problem with as much context as I could give with my limited experience. He listened intently. I thought the next words out of his mouth would be something to the ilk of, “Well, here’s what we’re going to do…” or “Why don’t we…”

Instead he asked: “What do you think?” I was stunned. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t have the experience. I didn’t have an answer.

He said: “When you have problems, come with solutions.” He added that it doesn’t matter how much experience you have. What matters is that you give it thought first and come up with your own solution, and then talk to other team members and find the best solution together.

I passed on that principle to everyone I’ve ever led or hired including even those at the entry-level or interns. I told them they may not have years of experience, but they have a unique set of experiences drawn from their life, their family, their friends, interests and hobbies. And that had value, especially in the marketing profession where we’ve all been marketed to since we were four years old.

And I’m sure my colleagues passed it on too because so many wonderful people who worked with Howie are now in leadership positions at some of the strongest brands in Kansas City and nationally.

Howie lived his life focused on solutions, even when faced with life’s biggest challenges. When he had cancer, or the last couple of years when he had to have a portable oxygen tank with him at all times, he never stopped. He would tell me about his daily exercise regimen at our regular quarterly lunches. And he drove himself to lunch to meet me or legions of his other friends. He just kept moving.

It’s counter-intuitive but not accurate to say his legacy will live on in so many of us. It already has in so many of us for so many years.

The Kansas City Chiefs have a rare luxury in sports – a fan base that always cares, win or lose. Sure, attendance will decrease if the losses continue, but apathy will never set in. When adversity hits, Chiefs’ fans manifest their “caring” in a  confluence of disappointment, anger, “suggestions” on social media and sports radio, and hope, lots of hope, for resurgence. And there has been plenty of all of that the last few weeks as the Chiefs, a Super Bowl Champion two years ago and the Super Bowl runner-up last year, are struggling at 3-4 and in danger of missing the playoffs if they don’t right the ship.
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The reasons for the Chiefs regression is somewhat confounding if one only looks at surface-level at the talent and coaching on the Chiefs, which is largely still in place led by Hall of Fame Coach Andy Reid and young quarterback phenom Patrick Mahomes. However looking beyond talent may provide some clarity on other reasons for the struggles.

There have been signs of complacency, lack of focus and lack of leadership. These are crucial red flags if organizations and individuals in and outside of sports wish to sustain success after achieving a lofty goal.

• Complacency – This is a natural human reaction to success, and can be deceptively difficult to avoid. The Chiefs coined the phrase “Run it Back” after their Super Bowl Championship in 2019 to make a statement that they intended to win two straight. They came very close, playing in their second straight Super Bowl before losing in dominant fashion to Tom Brady’s Buccaneers. But they continued to look back at their success of the last two years as a reference point instead of looking forward to a new goal to determine what it will take to achieve it in 2021. The competitive landscape has become much more challenging this year in the AFC. People should celebrate their success, especially such special achievements, but if they establish a goal to sustain or repeat it, then they need to embrace the fact that it will be a bigger challenge the next time based on fighting complacency alone.
  
  
• Lack of Focus – There are some events in our personal lives that are just going to overshadow even the most important moments in our professional lives. When Andy Reid’s son Britt caused a tragic accident while under the influence that profoundly did harm to a family the week of the second Super Bowl, it was natural for the head coach to lose focus for that game, and possibly much longer. Reid didn’t make his usual innovative adjustments Chiefs’ fans could depend on that game. And this year, as opponents have adjusted their defenses to take away the long and dynamic passing game of Mahomes and Tyrek Hill, the Chiefs seemingly are struggling to adjust still. In fact, since Britt Reid was actually a member of the Chiefs’ coaching staff, maybe the tragedy has had more impact on focus from the entire staff than anyone has imagined.
  
  
• Lack of Leadership – Mahomes was practically infallible his first three years. He was dynamic, talented, innovative and accountable. He still is. He’s just facing a higher level of competition and he’s trying to do too much to raise his own performance. He’s still very young so his default is to work harder and more. But as a leader, instead of trying to do too much himself, he needs to work with the coaches to teach his teammates to adjust their game to the competition. As incredible as Mahomes is, he is part of team that has to work together. Without that, he will just be a proflic passer without the team success he enjoyed from 2018-20.
  
  

On the defensive side of the ball Tyrann Mathieu has been the outspoken leader on the field. But he has been anything but a leader this year. He has called out his teammates openly when they have made mistakes in the middle of the game. He has sent cryptic messages on Twitter about his potential contract extension, something teams rarely do in the middle of a season. He has been more about himself than about the team. A leader must put the team above him/herself in all cases.

The Chiefs have a mature, incredibly capable head coach in Reid. He is seasoned and smart. He will use his leadership skills to turn this around and get the team to the playoffs. And in Mahomes, Reid has a young maturing leader who continues to learn. He is the epitome of accountability and because of that he may be taking on too much of the burden himself. When he learns to delegate the responsibility to his teammates, the entire team will get better and back on the right path.

With the struggles of this season, the two Super Bowls may seem long past to the Chiefs. And that may be a good thing while they are still playing. They can look back on them as special times during the off-seasons and when they retire. That way, they can put all their focus and energy on a future goal instead of a past accomplishment. Maybe instead of Run it Back, Run it Forward.

I wrote a post earlier this year called “Leaders Need No Crown,” to underscore that one doesn’t need to have a title or be the head of any group of people to be a leader. Flipping that into a positive, the post implied that people without titles like director, manager, coach, pastor, CEO, quarterback, professor, president, etc. can be just as valuable as leaders, if not more, if they exhibit certain character traits, inherent or learned, and turn them into desired actions.

Individuals without a formal leadership role who are not at the top of a hierarchy still can and should “lead from the middle” by consistently motivating and guiding others on their journey toward collective or individual(s) goals and aspirations. The central character trait to do this well is selflessness - caring about the goals of the team more than their own personal advancement.

That kind of selflessness engenders trust, which is the foundation of leadership. When one gains the trust of co-workers, teammates, students or individuals, while that person may not have a formal title, they become known as a confidant, mentor or even a rock.

Three core traits/actions I believe build trust and allow one to lead from the middle include:

1. Providing honest feedback – Even people of goodwill and the best good intentions struggle when they need to provide constructive criticism or feedback to a team/individual(s) because they fear hurting feelings or want to avoid conflict. The tone with which that feedback is given can help assuage this reluctance. In all cases, there must be an emphasis on communicating that the feedback is given so the team/individual(s) can take the most efficient path to their goals. Objective feedback is critical because self-awareness or overcoming personal biases is not a strong suit for many. A trusted leader can help bring objectivity, clarity and focus to fuzzy perceptions.

 

1. Think beyond themselves – It’s natural for people to use their own experiences and observations to inform their perspectives and opinions. But too often, the default becomes personal reference points that are limiting such as, “Here’s how we did it before or at (blank).” There’s some value in that because it does provide one possibility. However, a good leader thinks beyond themselves and their own experiences and invites dialogue among the team. The collective perspective of a group will always be greater than the sum of its parts. Valuing each person’s unique experience and perspective adds exponentially more context, which almost always provides a better solution.
   
   
2. Active listening – Too often people listen with an intent to respond. Active listening means listening with the intent to understand, and then respond based on that understanding. Responding without full context or understanding someone’s perspective is simply an eagerness to provide your own perspective. The team/individual(s) seeking advise may as well be talking to a wall. This happens too often when a company believes it has the best or most innovative product and they tell a customer or prospect “we have what you need” without ever listening to their needs. Or a coach says, “We had success with this scheme in the past so that’s what we’ll use” without regard to other ideas or a changing landscape. People love good listeners because they prioritize other people’s perspective over their own – another selfless trait of leaders.

 
Every aspect of our world and society can benefit from selfless leadership. While many leaders at the top or with titles exhibit such traits and actions, they are not as accessible on a personal level to most people. And frankly, at least some leaders who ascend to the top are there because of longevity, political savvy or power-seeking and are not as interested in the success of the team as much as in their own success. There is some element of this in every context including business, sports, religion, politics and even non-profit organizations.

The more “leadership from the middle”, the better for our companies, organizations, teams and ultimately, each one of us.

In the fictional, five-season TV drama series Friday Night Lights (now of Netflix), which was nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Drama Series in 2011, when Dillon (Texas) High School Coach Eric Taylor (Kyle Chandler) went to visit his recently paralyzed all-American quarterback Jason Street (Scott Porter), he found his former QB1 understandably wallowing in self-pity and self-doubt about what his future would be, not just in football, but in life, since he couldn’t move his legs or arms. The two had a brief, subdued interaction as the coach did most of the talking. However, as he turned to leave, Street said to his coach: “Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose.”

That was Coach Taylor’s mantra to his team, although he never detailed what it meant. But it stuck with Street, who expressed his first positive sentiment in weeks since his opening-game tragedy.

I’m re-watching the series as I exercise each morning and I realized what “Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose.” means to me. It has application to every part of life, whether it’s business, personal growth, sports, music, or anything that one sets a meaningful goal to achieve.

“Clear eyes” refers to the destination - a well-defined vision, goal or objective that is inspiring and provides focus and clarity about the benefits of achieving it. As long as those benefits are meaningful, appealing and rewarding, individuals and teams will commit, won’t equivocate and will grind to get there.

“Full hearts” refers to the journey – which is never one of linear progression. There will be pitfalls, impediments, challenges and detours. A full heart, my interpretation of it at least, is the fulfillment found individually and collectively as the team works together to overcome the barriers, show resilience during adversity or even failures, and celebrates the successes on the way to the ultimate vision.

“Can’t lose” doesn’t mean that there won’t be losses, missteps or failures during the journey. There will be. It means that if the team perseveres through those moments of adversity, they will ultimately be richer for the experience and will find rewards and benefits – not just for themselves, but more importantly, for those they serve whether they are clients, patients, students, guests, fans, consumers, the community and on and on.

A recent one-year stint as a brand strategy consultant for Cerner, a global healthcare technology company, reinforced the importance of having a clear vision that inspires commitment from its employees, who then find fulfillment in collaboration, celebrating success and overcoming adversity in the incredibly complex healthcare world. We worked on an enterprise value proposition, redefined our brand position, messaging and guidelines including our voice and tone, visual identity and much more. Then the team took on the gargantuan, ongoing task of getting all 26,000 employees in 35 different countries on the same page. There were umpteen versions of PowerPoints, strategy documents, messaging statements, graphics, etc.
 
Through it all, in a universally remote work landscape because of the pandemic, team members from the executive level, branding, creative services, corporate marketing and sales leadership collaborated toward a singular vision – to make healthcare more accessible and simplify it for everyone from the doctor to the patient. The work was incrementally fulfilling with each meeting in which teammates would press the “Love” button on Microsoft Teams when another teammate contributed something like proposing a new idea, graphic or coming up with the perfect word to lend poignancy and precision to a message. The work will continue toward the vision. After all, making healthcare simpler and more accessible is not far off from trying to achieve world peace.

Sports offers more broadly relatable examples because of its relevance and exposure to many more people. In this case, the examples have some geographical parochialism:
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• Salvador Perez tied the Kansas City Royals record for home runs this week at an astonishing 48, which leads all of Major League Baseball. Perez has endured miserable baseball since his teams went to two World Series in 2014 and 2015, and his teammates from those teams are all gone. However, he consistently speaks of clear vision to win another championship, has embraced this new set of teammates, deflects credit to them, his coaches and training staff and even the fans for making him feel special. His perpetual smile indicates his heart is full, not because of his accomplishments, but because he is playing the game he loves, with people he loves, in a city he loves. While the ultimate goal is still down the road, he revels in the journey.
  
  
• Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes, who had never thrown an interception in September or had a losing record in his career, now has thrown three interceptions and the Chiefs have a 1-2 record. The consummate leader, Mahomes revealed yet another element of his resilience and focus on the ultimate goal with a simple Tweet: “A little adversity never hurts…we will be back soon.” Mahomes possesses the most essential ingredient of leadership - honesty. When he or one of his teammates isn’t doing what it takes to achieve the vision of winning another Super Bowl, he is honest about himself publicly and honest with teammates one-on-one, simultaneously providing encouragement and constructive criticism. That honesty builds trust, which is a fulfilling characteristic for any team.
  
  
• Mizzou’s Head Coach Elijah Drinkwitz is just in his second year heading up a young team with mostly players that weren’t highly ranked. He has had inordinate success recruiting in his short time but his most talented players are freshmen or seniors in high school, which is a good sign for his vision to win championships. However, his 2-2 team is having growing pains with two close losses. His response was refreshingly honest and put the onus on the most experienced leaders – the coaching staff – to help the team overcome the adversity: “We have who we have and we need to adjust the scheme to make it match.” The message not only puts the weight on the coaches, but it’s also a subtle signal to fans this part of the journey is to make the most of the current resources while still aspiring to higher achievements over time.
  
  
• Nearly all baseball fans thought the St. Louis Cardinals were done even as late as early September. Until they went on an incredible 17-game winning street to clinch a post-season spot this week. That doesn't happen without an aspirational vision to always compete for championships, experienced leadership like Yadier Molina and Adam Wainwright who teach younger players about a culture that doesn't compromise its standards.

Unlike a TV series where Coach Taylor just MAY take his Dillon Panthers to a championship just in time for the season finale, real-life visions often take more patience. So while it’s essential to have clear eyes on the vision, it’s just as important to fulfill hearts on the way, especially in the challenging moments. Do that, and you can’t lose.

I’ve always had passion for leadership. Leadership is essential to making the world better in an infinite number of ways. Some leaders are visionary and can see solutions before problems even exist. Some leaders have the ability to be a calming or inspirational presence even without being present. The best leaders have a common tenant – rather than for power, glory or ego, their motivation to lead is to serve others.

Three years ago today, I was the beneficiary of one of the most profound forms of service one could imagine. Ryan, a good friend of mine, donated his kidney to me to give me a re-birth. In fact, his wife Traci also volunteered to donate, along with 10 other friends. After endless thought about how I could show them my undying gratitude for the gift-of-a-lifetime – beyond raising awareness of the priceless value of organ donation and supporting the Kidney Foundation, Midwest Transplant Network and other causes - I arrived at the belief that what they would want me to do is give the best of myself in service to others.

Introspection was one way to identify my best strengths and traits that could benefit others although it comes with some inherent subjectivity. To add objectivity to the process, I decided to think about my strengths using the prism of how they’ve been reflected back at me by my family, friends, bosses, people I’ve hired and led, professors, coaches, and those I’ve come across in other walks of life.

The feedback I’ve received on a recurring basis is that my two most valuable professional traits is my critical thinking and my leadership/mentorship.

I have the ability to think objectively, deeply and broadly about an issue and present possibilities,  instead of absolutes, which are usually limiting. That has helped business teams I’ve been part of come up with creative solutions aligned with the right strategy during my professional career. It also has added value to organizations for which I’ve volunteered or to friends who’ve asked for business, professional or personal guidance.

I thought applying that thinking to this blog could be one way to lead in service. The primary motivation for this blog is to let people know there are others out there who aren’t embedded in the absolutes or entrenched, limited points of view that are so prevalent in our polarized society. I thought it might inspire others to think beyond the conventional and discuss possibilities that haven’t been considered. And my hope is that will lead them to start new discussions using unconventional thinking to help make the world a better place one thought at a time.

The second strength that’s regularly reflected back to me is my ability to lead, mentor or coach. My philosophy about leadership and mentorship is that I should provide the context to get the individual to think about their situation or challenge themselves and give them the autonomy to come up with their own set of possibilities. It’s a non-directive, non-judgmental style of leadership that challenges people to think and do the due diligence themselves and not rely on old, staid answers that lead to mediocre outcomes. And just as importantly, not rely on me to provide a singular answer or path.

I’ve always had a passion to mentor and develop people that I’ve worked with, ultimately to get them to understand and then realize the potential in themselves they never knew existed. However, in my effort to lead in service to others, I’ve been more intentional about providing volunteer leadership/mentorship in a variety of contexts - to individuals, businesses or organizations.
 
While I hope I benefit those who ask for the mentorship, it’s just as satisfying to me when I see individuals or organizations explore possibilities that they never had considered. Or aspire to achievements they thought were out of their reach. Or take on challenges they thought were too difficult.
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What’s most fulfilling about leading in service to others is I get back as much as I give. That’s how I’ll continue to show my gratitude for the incredible gift given to me three years ago today.

Weaved into the fabric of America is sacrificing for the common good to preserve and advance our collective freedom.

Americans united and sacrificed during World War I and World War II not only by going to war across the oceans as a soldier, medic, nurse or cook, but in so many others ways right here in the United States.

• People ate less meat and processed food so it could be shipped to those serving abroad.
  
• They used less oil and gasoline so it could be used in planes and tanks. 
  
• Scrap drives helped collect garden hoses, tires, rubber and metal for the war effort.
• Women who were homemakers went to work in manufacturing, shipping and office jobs.
• School children in Chicago purchased $263k in War Bonds, to help fund two planes and 26 tanks.
• And of course, too many Americans made the ultimate sacrifice with their lives or suffered severe debilitating wounds.
  
  

In fact, a total of 674,898 Americans sacrificed their lives during World War !, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Persian Gulf War and the Global War on Terror. During the 104 years since the United States entered World War I, we have had battles domestically including the suffrage movement to earn women the right to vote, civil rights for African-Americans, equal treatment for the LGBTQ community, fair and equal pay for women and minorities, recent social justice movements and more. People held different opinions on each of these issues and there certainly has been division.

However, when it came to protecting our collective freedom and safety, Americans unified and sacrificed. Millions, never trained as soldiers, did what they could for the common good. We were on the same team.

Since early 2020, we have been in a different type of war. Against an invisible enemy. But just as deadly. COVID-19 has killed 625,375 Americans to date, nearly approaching the total number of Americans who died in the six wars since World War I in 1917. And it has harmed millions of others, either with severe symptoms or unknown long-term effects on the lungs, heart and other critical organs.

We are divided about not only how to eradicate COVID-19, but the absolute facts about how it has been and can be mitigated. In some extreme cases, some don’t even believe that COVID-19 even exists.

Divided despite having an innovative weapon against the virus that is more than 95% effective at snuffing out severe symptoms that require hospitalization and cause death. Scientists, researchers and doctors who have been collaborating for decades to come up with vaccines that could work against these types of viruses, worked at miraculous speed to give us highly-effective options to not only protect us against severe symptoms and death, but stop the virus from mutating into variants these vaccines may not be able to stop.

Yet a significant number in our country haven’t taken the vaccine despite the fact that 99% of those in over-capacity hospitals are unvaccinated. Some in the vaccine-resistant segment also are fighting wearing masks again to protect their “individual freedoms.” If people don’t want to take the vaccine because of medical reasons or fear it hasn’t been used long enough, so be it. With the FDA approving the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine beyond just the emergency approval it gave last December, that should ally those fears. Especially if those same people took other vaccines that were approved by the FDA for small pox, measles and flu without hesitation, their motivations are questionable.

Individual freedoms stop at the point they infringe on other’s safety and well-being. That’s why we have laws prohibiting individuals from:

• Smoking indoors at public places
• Driving under the influence
• Exceeding speed limits
• Texting and driving
• Not wearing seat belts
• Shooting off fireworks in dry regions
  
  

In the interest of collective public health:

• A restaurant worker can’t say s/he doesn’t feel like washing their hands that day. 
• A phlebologist can’t decide it’s too much trouble to use a sterile needle to draw blood for labs. 
• A doctor or nurse can’t decide they can breathe easier without a mask while they are doing surgery and the hell with it if they cough or sneeze into the incision.
  
  

If the only reason some people don’t want to vaccinate is because it infringes on their individual choice, then at least make the small sacrifice of wearing a mask to protect others. However, those who don’t want to vaccinate, but also don’t want to wear a mask, only care about their own individual freedom.

They don’t care about the fatigued health care workers who are being asked to go above and beyond yet again in overcrowded hospitals. They don’t care about elderly and the immuno-compromised who still are at some risk despite being vaccinated. They don’t care about the children under 12 who have yet to be vaccinated. They don’t care about keeping our businesses wide open and economy buzzing because if the Delta variant mutates and turns into a variant our current vaccines don’t have efficacy against, we will have to close businesses, schools, sports, concerts and other public events again.

Some of the resistance to the vaccine is because of the 30-year diatribe against the “Four Corners of Deceit” the late Rush Limbaugh espoused when he said don’t trust science, government, academia and the media. Many advance those same beliefs, including current politicians. That’s why we have Governor Rob DeSantis of Florida fighting mask mandates despite hospitals in Florida so over capacity with unvaccinated COVID-19 patients that people have to go to other states to get treatment.

The irony is that scientists and academia researched and developed this set of vaccines and they have worked wonderfully. It’s the highly educated doctors and nurses from academic institutions around the world that the largely unvaccinated flock to get help breathing and to survive the Delta variant. It’s the government – vaccine development led by the Trump administration and distribution led by the Biden administration – that got the vaccines to the people to open the country again and bring some semblance of normalcy.

Normalcy that is on the cusp of disappearing. Freedoms along with it. I urge those who have and continue to look at the facts to share them with those who are willing to listen. I respect the choice of those who don’t want to get the vaccine because of medical reasons. But for those who are not getting vaccinated or fight wearing a mask to protect their individual freedom, there will be even fewer individual freedoms without collective freedom.

So let’s make the relatively very small sacrifices – compared to those made during the World War I and World War II - for our collective freedom. We’re on the same team.

Last week the University of Missouri named Desiree Reed-Francois the first female athletic director in its history. That also made her the first female athletic director at any public university in the SEC. She is only the sixth female athletic director among the 65 universities of the Power 5 conferences in college athletics.

Reed-Francois said in her press conference that she hopes a day will come when no one has to point out those gender-centric rarities. While we are evolving, we are still a long way from that.

The move was lauded by many, who felt obligated to point out that Reed-Francois’ appointment was absolutely meritorious, evidenced by an illustrious career as a college athletics administrator that broadened and deepened her experience with every step. This is a bold move by Mizzou that will continue to inspire little girls to dream; young women in high school and college to believe; and provide those already on their career journey vivid evidence that those dreams can be actualized and become real.
 
Along with those who hailed the appointment based on her merit, there were some on social media who clearly focused on everything but her experience and achievements. A few Tweets:

• “It would be a challenge as a coach to have a female boss.”
• “Let’s hope that they hired her because she’s the most qualified candidate and being a woman had nothing to do with it.”
• “She looks delicious.”
  
  

There’s nothing wrong with questioning any new hire – female or male. It’s reasonable to wonder whether Reed-Francois can successfully lead Mizzou to achieve the bold vision she articulated: Win SEC championships so the university is in position to compete for national championships. Given that the SEC is widely considered the most competitive conference in collegiate sports and many of the schools have decades of championship pedigrees, high-profile brands and more resources, it’s fair to question.

But the skeptics, doubters, naysayers and doomsday prognosticators don’t think beyond her gender to make their assessments. They will be who they are. Their biases are embedded and the effort it takes to even nudge their beliefs an iota is not worth it. The fact is if Reed-Francois’ vision becomes reality and Mizzou wins championships and has sustained success, even the most ardent naysayers will say they believed in her all along.

What is worthwhile is to tell more than just the little girls and young women who will be more inclined to be inspired that Reed-Francois has earned the post. It’s an opportunity to show little boys - and some grown men - that no matter Reed-Francois’ gender, she has the intellect, emotional intelligence, competitiveness and humility to help Mizzou actualize the vision. And when progress isn’t being made - because there is never linear progression for any vision that has significant challenges and competitive forces - she must show the toughness and objectivity to hold herself accountable to make high-leverage decisions and modifications to pivot the trajectory toward the vision again.

That is leadership. And it isn’t about gender. It’s about being a human being who has a passion for excellence and the will to do what it takes to lead a team to achieve it. Not for personal glory. But in service to and for the sake of others.

People with such traits who get opportunities like this can be an example for anyone who dreams of being a leader and serving others. Women simply haven’t had nearly the number of leadership opportunities that men have had historically. But more and more women are getting them and setting an example. That example is important to girls, but it can be just as important to boys. The more normalized it becomes to view a great leader as a good person and human being instead of a specific gender, the faster we will get to the point when we don’t have to note rarities and firsts.

I’ve been blessed to work with strong women throughout my career. Some own companies. Some lead departments in companies. Some are teachers. Some are in healthcare. Some are social workers. Some are moms who raise children. Some volunteer their time generously to causes. Many fulfill more than one of these roles simultaneously.
 
All of them have two things in common. Number one, they are often underestimated by doubters and skeptics simply because of their gender. Number two, they always rise above those naysayers.

Not because they are women. But because they are tremendous human beings.

The moment. 

We’ve all been there. A high-stakes business presentation. A final exam. A championship game. A difficult conversation involving conflict. A theatrical performance. An agonizing life and death decision. A big speech.

The moment can be overwhelming. It’s often a heavy burden to carry because of its pivotal nature. Laced with unbelievable pressure, knowing what you do in the moment not only affects you; but possibly family and friends; maybe your business colleagues and company; your teammates; or maybe even people you’ve don’t know or will never meet.

You may have been anticipating the moment for a long time. Or it may come suddenly. Or, in some professions – for example, healthcare teams performing heart surgery -  the moments come regularly and repeatedly. No matter if it’s isolated or recurring, it can be daunting. It calls for the best of you, when your mind and body could feel weakened by the heaviness of the moment.

Suni Lee of the United States Olympic Gymnastics team faced such a moment last week. Like all Olympians, she had trained for years since a young age. Her family had made sacrifices to allow her the opportunity to pursue this dream. Her friends and her community had been so supportive, even donating to help her family get the resources to help her succeed. Her entire country was cheering for her.

All of these acts of support, generosity and grace are certainly uplifting and inspirational. Conversely, they add layer after layer of expectations and pressure.

In that moment, Lee won the Gold Medal for the Women’s All-Around competition, one the most watched and high-profile events among the seemingly multitudes of Olympics sports. Most would say she rose to the moment. Lee wouldn’t. In fact, she didn’t.

In an interview on NBC’s Today, Lee described what she told herself just before the performance as she was seen holding her stomach because of her nerves.

“I was telling myself to do nothing more, nothing less.” Lee said. When asked what she meant, Lee explained matter-of-factly, “Because my normal was good enough.”

That simple approach is a lesson for all the “moments” we will face in our lives. Lee had prepared herself not just physically, but emotionally and mentally for the enormity of the moment. She had practiced, listened to coaches and mentors, observed the successes of her current and past teammates, absorbed the support of her family, friends and community – and now her nation – and done everything she possibly could leading up to the moment.

Now, all she had to do is trust her preparation, the guidance and support she received, and have faith that it would all carry her to her best. Obviously, she wasn’t going to do too little. But she also wasn’t going to do too much either. That is sometimes when even the highest achievers and competitors get themselves in trouble. By trying to do too much. Trying too hard.

In business and other contexts, leaders sometimes try too hard by micromanaging instead of delegating and trusting the people they hired. Everyone has a role and it's up to each person so prepare and be ready for the moment. In that moment, if everyone just does their part and plays their role - nothing more or nothing less - it gives the best chance for each individual and the entire team to thrive.

Hall of Famer George Brett of the Kansas City Royals has advised more-recent Royals players who may be struggling or in a slump to “try easier.” This may seem as counter-intuitive as not rising to the occasion, but he’s not telling them to prepare or practice with less energy, vigor or commitment. In fact, as a player, Brett was famous for taking hundreds of swings off a batting tee until his hands blistered when he was in a slump. What Brett means is to prepare hard physically and mentally so that when the moment arrives, muscle memory kicks in and you are not overthinking, doubting or making adjustments on the fly.

If you have done everything needed to prepare for the moment, then simply do what you have done so many times during the practices and preparation. Don’t look back or you might over-analyze and second guess yourself. Don’t look ahead to what might happen. 

Stay in the moment. It’ll help you make the best of it.

It’s a common refrain: “I don’t know what to believe and what news to trust.” No wonder people feel that way with the proliferation of cable channels, streaming networks, podcasts, radio shows and social media during the past 15 years.
 
According to a Pew Research Center study from September 2020, 88% get their news from their smartphone, tablet or computer. Another 68% get at least part of their news from TV sources, 50% percent from radio and 32% from newspaper/magazines (print and digital).
 
It’s not far-fetched to say many only watch the networks that reinforce their beliefs and assumptions. And it’s even less of a leap to say that the most-watched cable news networks such as CNN, FOX and MSNBC certainly skew their presentation of “news” – sometimes under the guise of “entertainment” and sometimes bordering on “propaganda.” That’s not to say there aren’t outstanding, objective journalists at all three networks who are diligent and present facts. But as the evening wears on, the line becomes blurred between news, entertainment and pure opinion, often not based on facts.
 
It’s a stark contrast from the way the legendary Walter Cronkite and his contemporaries broadcast the news decades ago. The closest news show that emulates that is the PBS News Hour, which presents deeply researched facts, avoids conjecture and speculation, and doesn’t invite guests from “each side” to engage in yelling matches about a topic using talking points that are essentially only their side of the story. Instead the news is presented almost in a monotone manner. Today’s viewers may find it boring.
 
So for those who want to get just the facts and then arrive at their own conclusion, who should they trust? The answer is simple. Trust yourself.
 
If you are truly open to hearing or reading the facts, and not just information that reinforces what you already believe, there are some fundamental approaches you can take.
 

1. Read. Go beyond TV or radio to get your news. The formats are not conducive to in-depth presentation and often limited to soundbites. Most topics require deeper analysis and presentation. Newspapers and magazines – even in digital format – offer the space and time for deeper drills. Some say even those are skewed in one direction of another and that’s true if one only reads the opinion writers at, for example, the Wall Street Journal (conservative) or New York Times (progressive). But there are incredible journalists at media outlets everywhere that simply do the research, gather the facts and present the story and/or analysis.
   
   
2. Diversify you sources. One of the best ways to mitigate risk in your investment portfolio is to diversify so if one investment decreases in value, others may help maintain your overall portfolio. The same applies in how you invest your time getting news. Read, watch and listen to several sources and if the majority of them are reporting the same facts, quotes and analysis, you can be more certain the information is accurate. If there is an outlier, then you have to question why so many other credible outlets aren’t reporting what the outlier is.
   
   
3. Check facts yourself. For the truly industrious, the Internet provides access to the original source of data and information. It just takes time and effort to enter what you want information about in a search box. You can find economic data from sites like the from the Office of Management and Budget or the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The Centers for Disease Control has had data on number of COVID cases, hospitalizations, deaths and the number of those who have been vaccinated – nationally, by state and per-capita.
   
   

The fact is the amount of information out there is voluminous and it's obviously impossible to track everything, all the time. However, for issues that are most important to you, don’t rely on a network, a news pundit, opinion writer, an entertainer or anyone else with an agenda to tell you what to believe until you do the diligence yourself to validate the facts. Trust yourself.

For all of my life, I have loved nearly every type of music. I have a playlist called “Decades” with hundreds of songs I started populating in my car on Amazon Music on a long, solo round-trip. I asked Alexa to play the top songs of each year, and if I liked it, I simply said “Alexa, add to playlist ‘Decades,’” which includes my favorite songs ranging from the 18th Century through 2020. When I say “Alexa shuffle ‘Decades,’” someone with me may wonder if I’ve lost my organizational acumen as a variety of seemingly random genres including classical, rock, alternative, pop, rap and more sound off.
 
Alexa may choose to start off with “Ode to Joy” (Beethoven’s rendition in 1824) then bust out “Thrift Shop” (Macklemore),  “Sweet Home Alabama” (Lynyrd Skynyrd), “We Didn’t Start the Fire” (Billy Joel), “Yesterday” (Beatles), “Material Girl” (Madonna), “Start Me Up” (Rolling Stones), “Shake if Off” (Taylor Swift), “Something Just Like This” (Chainsmokers and Coldplay), ‘Cups” (Anna Kendrick), “Suit and Tie” (Justin Timblerlake), “Just the Way You Are” (Bruno Mars), and finish with the not-so-wholesome, not-so-G-rated “Party Up” (DMX). 😊
 
I never claim to have refined taste. I also don’t claim to have musical acumen except listening and enjoying. I’ve been making a modest attempt to change the latter recently. I’m taking the do-it-yourself approach to learning how to play keyboards. In this endeavor’s genesis I’ve learned about “Middle C.”
 
Middle C is the fourth “C” (C4) on a standard 88-key piano. It’s not exactly the center of the standard piano or keyboard, but it certainly has a way of centering me. For a novice like me, it has been an anchor. It gives me a reference point from where I find keys A, B, D, E, F and G. And when I actually evolve from the Middle C to the other seven C keys on the keyboard, I know they will be as foundational.
 
Middle Cs exist in every part of life. The skill I never had in music is balanced by the modest ability I have athletically. I learned to be a pretty good long-range shooter in basketball as a kid and it has stuck with me. But anytime I find myself in a slump from the three-point line, I always go back to my basketball version of my Middle C - the free-throw line, where I shoot 100 free throws before I take any other kind of shot. When I was in a hitting slump in baseball against fastballs, curves and change ups, the Middle C was the batting tee, the holy grail of five-year-old tee-ballers, which forced me to focus on one thing – my hand-eye coordination.
 
In business, my Middle C is actually a construct I learned in grad school called the “Three Cs” (company, competition and customer) where I can diligently process any business situation efficiently so I have a basis to ask good questions and lay the foundation for discussion for our team to arrive at a good solution.
 
The Middle C key. The free-throw line. The batting tee. The Three Cs. They are much more than physical spaces or constructs. They are foundational reference points for getting back to the fundamentals. They help recall muscle memory. They are comfort zones in the midst of lost confidence. They are instruments of focus. They are genesis of discoveries. They are North Stars.
 
Middle Cs are intrinsic. No doubt that we have external support systems when times get tough. Family, friends, faith, counselors, therapists, yoga, meditation, exercise, venting, vacations, etc. All of these provide support in times of crisis when doubt creeps in because of a health scare, a job transition, a difficult decision, a friendship or relationship gone awry, or change in general.
 
Ultimately, despite all the support, we must find our resolve and resilience from within. That takes mental toughness, clarity, focus, muscle memory, reference points we know are deeply ever-present, but must be hailed to the surface to strengthen us.
 
The Middle Cs in our intellectual and emotional keyboard are our values, our standards, our beliefs, our successes, our failures, our aspirations, our foundations and our vision.
 
So whether it’s an unexpected crisis or a welcome challenge that is imminent, find your Middle Cs. They will guide you on the journey to overcome and/or thrive.

It’s conventional thinking to assume you should have a lot in common with someone to enable you to become friends or develop any kind of relationship. There’s no doubt that common interests can be the foundation for conversation that flows easier. The topics are familiar to both people and there are common points of references to ponder, laugh about or even debate.

However, differences I have with some of my family and friends add texture and value to my life. Differences offer an opportunity to learn from each other and expand our horizons. They lead to experiences we may never have considered whether they are as adventurous as skydiving or as cerebral as learning to play music.

In practice, this was my immediate and extended family’s life in a nutshell  early on after we came to the United States. None of us knew about baseball, apple pie or even Christmas when we came here. But we learned about all those things and so much more as we became friends with people from another culture. Sure, we acclimated to the culture here, but many in my family simultaneously revere the culture they grew up in in India. There’s incredible value and richness in embracing both.

It’s amazing how many phrases, rituals, traditions, and even colloquialisms mean the same thing and are brought to life for the exact same reasons between two different cultures literally halfway around the world. I know if we cross-reference cultures across the world, we would find much more in common – just phrased differently, practiced differently and by people who look different – than we would uncommon when we get to the foundation and roots.

The greatest differences among us should at least be respected, if not embraced. Whether they are different ideologies, religious beliefs, lifestyles, rituals, traditions, philosophies and even differences about for which team to cheer. Differences enrich our lives by adding depth and breadth to our thinking and to our experiences. They can sometimes even fill latent voids we never recognized or satisfy an underlying feeling “something was amiss.”

This is PRIDE month and it’s a time for the LGBT community to celebrate the freedom to be themselves. The fact that there has to be a month to highlight this inherently indicates that they don’t have enough freedom to live the life they want and be who they are. I have friends in the LGBT community and they have the same aspirations, challenges, doubts, beliefs and so many other feelings that I do.

The Supreme Court will decide on a case this month (Fulton v. Philadelphia) over a policy that bars discrimination based on sexual orientation. I decided to limit much discussion about “political” issues in this space because political banter is toxic these days. But like nearly every issue that profoundly impacts people’s lives every day, this isn’t a political issue. It’s a human issue.

And my belief is that every human being should have the freedom to live the life they want as long as they do no harm to another human being. I’m heartened by a Gallup Poll released this month that found that 70% of Americans support same-sex marriage. It’s yet another indication that our country is evolving to be true to itself – that “We, the people” believe all people are indeed “created equal” and should be treated that way.

I hope we continue to value our differences even more. Not only differences in perspectives. But in how people live their lives.

I was in a strategic marketing class in Duke University’s Executive Education program, bursting with anticipation at the thought of the guest speaker about to step to the podium. I had recently watched him coach Duke to two straight national championships and attended the second one myself. He was already a national coaching icon, having elevated the Blue Devils to elite status. He wasn’t there to regale us with stories about the miracles his players consistently pulled off in high-pressure moments, although our class would have eaten it up.
 
Our professor said Coach Mike Krzyzewski was there to talk about leadership. I had heard enough from Coach K in interviews to know that this wasn’t going to be a typical talk from a sports figure who would use successful on-court examples to demonstrate the value of leadership. He had more substance than to rely on the “sports is just like life” cliches.
 
The crux of his talk had more depth. He talked about knowing yourself and what kind of leader you want to be. He said being true to yourself is an essential aspect of leadership and gives you credibility to influence. He said when you set a vision to “dream big,” and you are true to that vision, and to yourself, you inspire others to dream big. Then dreams have a better chance of coming true.
 
Fast forward to last week and Coach K announced he would retire after next year, having won five national championships and the most games of anyone in the history of men’s college basketball. Duke already announced his successor. Jon Scheyer, a point guard on the 2010 national championship team. Scheyer met Coach K when he was a teenager. Scheyer said he remembers Coach K telling him to “dream big” at that initial meeting. He clearly listened. He became captain at Duke and will be given the reigns of the one the best programs in college basketball history.
 
Following a legend will be a daunting challenge, filled with some anxiety and doubt, undoubtedly. Scheyer can lean on Coach K. But ultimately, Scheyer must rely on one person. Himself. His heart and mind. His vision. Not Coach K’s. No matter Coach K’s unmatched success, Scheyer has his own unique experiences to draw from. He has his own passions. His own approach. Ultimately, his success will hinge on being true to himself.
 
When you are true to yourself, you are authentic. People believe you. They believe in you. You earn the credibility to lead because people believe you mean what you say. You will do what you say. You believe in yourself so others believe in you. Belief leads to commitment. Commitment leads to success.

The pandemic has tested everyone’s will and resolve. It has been a battle against the invisible, so much so that unless someone had experienced it or knew of someone who had fallen victim to it, some considered it imaginary. But it was indescribably real to so many who contracted the Covid virus. And the reality was experienced in spades by those who had to heal the afflicted.

Healthcare workers have been justifiably lauded as heroes during the past year-plus. They have shown incredible courage, determination and an ability to stare adversity in the face daily, and never back down. Some of them may have been inspired by the top medical or nursing officer at their hospital or clinic. But ultimately, they had to reach into their own hearts and souls to answer the bell. Even knowing the risks to themselves and their families, they still rose to help so many others they did not even know.

Their inspiration came from within. From their value system. From their desire to look beyond themselves. Their desire to care for and serve others.

That is the essence of true leadership. It doesn’t require a title. One doesn’t have to be a CEO, head coach, pastor, manager, music director, mayor, king and on and on. In fact, there are some with such titles that aren’t very good leaders.

Leaders don’t need a crown.

Leaders recognize in themselves what they can do to help others no matter their prescribed role, no matter their title, if they have a title at all; no matter what position they play, no matter their age, etc.

One leader early in my life was my 10-year-old teammate on my first football team. It was the first time I had ever played tackle football and I was out of my comfort zone. I didn’t really know the intricacies of the game, which is not unusual for kids that age. After I went to the sidelines after one set of plays in which I clearly must have looked tentative and intimidated by the whole scene, a 10-year-old teammate put his arms around me as if he were a seasoned coach and said, “Hey, it’s ok. Here’s what you want to do when you get out there again.” That kid was David Van Horn, now the head baseball coach at No. 1 ranked University of Arkansas. His moment leading me was ominous. David went on a remarkable coaching career for the past 25 years, including seven College World Series appearances. His Razorbacks were one pitch away from a national championship in 2018.

David was a leader even at such a young age. Even then, his top priority was to help our team succeed, not his personal success. He instinctively cared about our collective success, even though he was the best player on the team.

There are leaders in all walks of life. Certainly in jobs, on teams and in professions and organizations. But leaders don’t have to be part of a group to lead. They can lead as an individual and as a human being. The ultimate leadership is the desire and practice of volunteerism. Volunteers serve the highest purpose. They give of themselves without expecting anything in return. Most don’t even want recognition for their service.

Look around you when you look for leadership. Or look within you. You may find ways to serve your company, your team or serve something which you are not even a part. There doesn’t need to be a job description that says “manage,” “supervise,” or “lead.” There just needs to be a desire to help others.

My fourth-grade music teacher required each of us to stand in front of the class and sing. Not as a group, so I could quietly let others who actually like to be heard carry the harmony. Solo. Impromptu. I don’t think it was intended to teach us music as much as it was to test our courage. I failed miserably on both counts.

Those who know me know that I’m an introvert and generally one of the quieter people in the room. But even as an introvert, I’m comfortable speaking in front of groups, making points and raising questions in meetings, making presentations and engaging with conviction as long as I am saying something meaningful rather than making small talk. In fourth grade, describing me as an introvert would have been a gross understatement. I was painfully shy and just getting me to TALK in a group was hard enough, but singing a spontaneous solo in front of my classmates? I froze. Mark me down for an “F” on the experiment.

Earlier this year, I met a music teacher. She didn’t ask me to sing, so we continued talking. As we became friends, we’ve talked about philosophy, current events, human relationships, mentoring, and many other topics. We barely discussed music except when I asked about her background, which was remarkable. Even before she had graduated with her music degree, she had traveled the world singing as a part of a group and as a soloist. She had sung at a presidential inauguration.

She was inspiring to say the least. But it wasn’t her craft for which she had meticulously trained that fueled that inspiration. It was her interest in so many other important and meaningful topics and her intellectual curiosity to learn more about each of them. It was her openness to debate, question and discuss so much more than her core area of expertise.

It reminded me of something I always told new people we hired even at the entry-level or as interns. That I expected them to not only learn, but also to provide input in our meetings and brainstorm sessions, which are plentiful in marketing. They would nod nervously wondering what experience they could draw from to provide ideas, having never worked in the “real-world.” I tried to sooth their anxiety by telling them they have unique experiences no one else did. Having been marketed to since they were about four, they had their own perceptions and attitudes about brands, products, advertising, culture, etc. They also had observed how their family or friends had responded to different types of marketing. All of that experience and perspective was their own, no one else’s. It was unique. It added to rest of the insight and intellectual capital from our team so could we come up with a more informed strategy or creative idea.

Sometimes, we get so busy in our line of work or profession, we don’t take the time to enrich ourselves with other interests, some which might even turn into a passion. The Gray Area, at its essence, is about broadening our horizons and looking beyond our own experiences.

Having met a friend who had clearly done that has inspired me to do the same. Even though I still have never sung in front of anyone, I’ve always loved music. So I bought a keyboard and am teaching myself how to play, with a little help from my friend. Maybe I’ll post a video of me playing the piano one day…once I know I’ll merit more than an “F.” I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m learning.